What is it like to have a dormant volcano erupt inside you?

There was a small eruption within me just now, when my close frends msned me.

I burst out at them. Childishly. As before. Without keeping my emotions in check again.


I cannot help it. I was feeling quite awful these few days, and tonight seemed to have escalated to a higher ground, and when they asked if I wanted to catch a movie with them, and when I mentioned Ice Age 3, it went out of redemption.

All my laments. All my frustrations. The hopelessness. The helplessness. All comes torrenting out within. Only it happened in my mind. All the shouting and crying and screaming. Outward appearance-wise, I'm just like typing normally in front of my computer. But the words all comes out on msn.

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So I've decided, I'll catch Ice Age 3 3D either tomorrow afternoon or wednesday afternoon, which ever has lesser people, so I don't have to endure the agony of seeing lovey dovey couples watching the show while I'm watching it alone.

How long has it been, watching a movie all alone by myself. I think the very last movie I catch alone was Cars. Since then I don't catch movies alone by myself, because its really very depressing to do so, when all around you are people with their groups of friends, or family. Or the worst case scenario, couples. I could still remember of the times, I would console myself and say to myself "Its ok. They got their lives, I got mine. This is my life and I'm happy with it"

Ok I lied. There's no way I could console myself with that stupid shit. I would just ignore and concentrate on my popcorn and the movie. After it ends, I'll just walk and not look at anyone else walking out of the theater with me. So pathetic of me.


No mood to continue writing le. I'll blog another day bah.

Geez, another sleepless night. Sigh.


Insomnia =(