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That day, after seeing Penny at temple a week ago, I finally manage to spot her online and chatted with her. Didn't chat for long. She left quite soon into the conversation. At least I managed to ask that her shoulder is indeed better. One more thing off my mind. She has gotten more prettier as the days pass. Almost everyone complimented how pretty she looked. Except me. Stupid piece of wooden blockhead.
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Yesterday after temple went to eat dinner with god-sis and her mother. After which we walked around Chinatown looking at the CNY stuff. So many people. Then helped god-sis buy groceries and bring up to her house, and helped them change their lights. Then hear them talk about god-sis's late dad and NKF.
Sigh.
A person's passing do affect their loved ones for a long time.
They invited me for dinner at their house this coming saturday, and after that go walk 春到河畔 at Marina. At the very first instant, my first thought was whether Eileen and the other guys will be organising any outings or not, especially watching Imaginarium of Dr Pa-whatever his name is. I know whatever respond I give, I will definitely regret either one of them. So I accepted their invitation. At least I know, they need company, they need my company more than Eileen and the rest do. Especially since "god-sis" already said she treated me like a half brother le, I will feel very horrible if I reject them and open myself free for a "probably-wouldn't-even-invite-me outing" with the guys.
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After 2 long games of COH with Boon and SJ, they suddenly asked if I'm free for dinner tomorrow. Wonder what's up. I hope we're not going to have yet more talks. Anyway gonna eat dinner with them at AMK, so yay! I can go buy Koi Cafe Bubble tea to drink before meeting them. Unfortunately, Boon cannot eat heaty food 'cause he's still recovering from sickness, no Popeye's Chicken. =( I guess its going to be the usual S11 again.
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Oh yeah, my less than 2 year old viewsonic LCD monitor spoilt this morning. Sianz. Spent $250 to buy a new LG 21.5" LCD monitor. The colors and brilliance of the new monitor wow-ed me. Maybe the previous monitor was failing, that's why its colors and contrast become more dull as the days past. Still, my screen is now a bigger one, albeit only by 2.5 inches. Still looks wow. At least its not a ill-spent money.
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内心千言万语，却不知该从何开始。
纵使知道要说些什么，我也应该会把一些话吞回肚子里吧。毕竟，我是一个会把心里话带进棺材的人。
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Very envious of others. I still can't talk with eloquence to people. I can't even practice speaking, because no one wants to talk and chat with me anymore. Those who still does, are all much older and we chat on topics like current affairs, or religion, or.. .... ..... Nothing that can let me click with people around my age or younger than me. Working with people at least 10 years older than you when you're in your growing up years has a really adverse and horrible effect on you in years to come. I can no longer click with people around my age or younger than me. Only with people older than me. Much older than me.
/wrist /throat *jump mrt tracks*.
Even making jokes, I'm horrible at them. Often people misunderstood me, or they really take me serious when I'm joking. Do I really portray the image that I'm not one who also jokes? Now end up I don't even dare make a joke or crack something funny. Even if I do try it occasionally, I will just stop it abruptly after seeing the reactions on some people's face.
Stop being so judgemental on me. I'm changing. I'm doing my best. Its not that I do not want to change. I'm not given enough opportunity to. And I'm expected not to make any mistakes. I'm not complaining its harsh. Just treat me like a human with emotions and feelings. Keeping my feelings in check and hidden from you all doesn't mean I'm now made of stone. I still feel things inside.
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Why did I even bother typing all these. Pui. No one cares anyway. Everyone for their own and so few people actually spare a thought for others. I wonder why am I one of those few idiots who contantly think of others and put myself in their shoes and so-ever-hard to think most of them in a good light(when obviously some don't even deserve it).
Listen to song...listen to songs. They are the very few things I can seek solace from in this mundane world.
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因为在一千年以后
世界早已没有我
无法深情挽着你的手
亲吻着你额头
别等到一千年以后
所有人都遗忘了我
那是红色黄昏的沙漠
没有谁
解开缠了千年寂寞
世界早已没有我
无法深情挽着你的手
亲吻着你额头
别等到一千年以后
所有人都遗忘了我
那是红色黄昏的沙漠
没有谁
解开缠了千年寂寞
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