For Somone I wish to talk to right now but I cannot

I have no idea when you will read this. Because I know that you don't really come to my blog that often.

I know I have said many things that sounded like bullshit or rubbish to you. Frankly speaking, there's no way I can prove or convince you that whatever I said is true and very real. However, I really wish you can at least take note on some of the things I had/have/will be mentioning to you about.

I am also aware that I'm definitely the very last person on earth that you will turn to when you need someone to talk to. I make you uncomfortable. I always say the wrong things at the wrong time. I always do and say things that irritate you. I always..................


I know you're not going to tell or share anything, except probably to a selected few.
But I just want to let you know. I'll always be around for a listening ear whenever you need.



Do you know something?

Everything you feel sad, depressed, I will feel very helpless, I cannot do anything for you.

Firstly, because you keep everything bottled inside. For years I have done the exact same thing. That's why I know how excruciating it feels inside. I wish there's some sort of outlet for you, so that you will not suppress all the emotions and thoughts all inside.
Secondly, for a girl like you, you seriously deserve much much better treatment from life. A lot of girls I know who's not as pretty and cute(definitions of pretty and cute from your tumblr blog entry) as you also never receive so much shit in their life. Life is unfair, but its too unfair in this case.
Thirdly, having learnt so much over the past 10 years in the Taoism and Buddhism world, there's really a lot of things that can help you. That can improve your life. Improve your family. Lessen the burdens in your life. It will be a very gradual change, but the improvements will be there, like a grass growing, you cannot see visible growth, but there's always a growth. But I cannot help you. Not directly. Even though offering addition prayers for you occasionally(as and when I remember and is able to) has given you a bit of respite from all the shit in your life. But those are still not enough to eradicate some of the things that are not supposed to be in your life. One of the things that makes me feel most helpless on.


Last but not least, You are one of the most important people in my life.


I know you are strong. I know you are capable of taking care of yourself. I am aware that it is your life and that you are in control of your life. I know. All these, I do know.

I just want to let you know, that, you're not alone. You're never alone. You have your family. You have your friends. You definitely have people around you that will always stand by you and supporting you.


I am not good with my words. And I don't know what else I can say to you. You'd have probably heard too much of "take care", "dun be sad" or "cheer up" or "stay cool" blah blah.


Anyway by now, looking from all the twits, you seem to sound better. And I think you've already logged off from the net.

Still,

I hope you'll really be ok. That you'll always be alright. You'll always be happy.

That's what I really wish for.