当我不在这个世上的时候，你，会不会记得我？


你，会不会偶尔想起我？





如果换成是我，

我，一定会永远记住你的。而且还会每天想着你。

至少，我，一定会让你活在我的心中，直到我死的那一天，在另一个世界见到你。。。

脆弱中的坚强

The last time I saw Peggy, she was suggesting a KTV outing. The last KTV outing I had with her and Penny was in June last year. Supposedly a memorable outing. Supposedly.

So when Peggy was suggesting a KTV outing, and arrowed me to organise it, my mind immediately thought of Penny. I wonder, if she will want to go sing this time.

I do not know how I will feel when I see Penny again. I do wish to see her though. A lot.

Also, this K session should be an enjoyable one. Especially for Penny. Because I want her to enjoy herself.


**********************************


I may look nonchalant about it all on the outside.
I may appear fine and ok with all the fuss on me.

But deep inside it hurts a lot. Yet I cannot show it out.
I have to be strong. For you.


I have let myself get affected by you too much.

But I cannot help it.



For I have allowed myself to love you too much.

-----------------------------------------

心伤心痛不痛
爱掏空情失控
忘了听你想说什么
少了沟通变苦衷
心伤心痛不痛
爱放纵情放手
忘了问你想要什麽
若给的起我都承受

就只有歌陪伴着度过星期六的夜晚......

不想多说什么。
也没什么好说的。

因为说了等于白说。于事无补。只能怪自己自找的吧。谁叫自己是个怪胎呢。更惨的是心里总是那么的真。对人付出真心，但总是碰壁。
朋友也好，喜欢的人也好。爱的人也好。总是被人误解。被人唾弃。。。。


曾几何时，那个无牵无挂的我不见了？
曾几何时，那个我行我素的我消失了？
曾几何时，那个傲视天下的我死去了？
曾几何时，那个热情洋溢的我冻结了？

----------------------------------

才离开没多久就开始担心今天的你过得好不好
整个画面是你想你想的睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样还有在你身上香香的味道
我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑

没有你在我有多难熬 (没有你在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有你烦我有多烦恼 (没有你烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层我试著努力向你奔跑
爱才送到你却已在别人怀抱

就是开不了口让她知道
我一定会呵护著你也逗你笑
你对我有多重要我后悔没让你知道
安静的听你撒娇看你睡著一直到老

就是开不了口让她知道
就是那么简单几句我办不到
整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看著
这些我都做得到但那个人已经不是我

Composed a new lyrics for the song 情歌 by 梁静茹. Its a Chinese song, but my composed lyrics are in English.


Last night I dreamt of you in a white wedding dress
Yet I was the one sitting with the guests
The groom was right there at the altar standing next to you
You both swore your vows
And exchange your rings

This morning when I login to my MSN
My heart skipped a beat when your message came
You told me last night he had ask you to be his girlfriend
You nodded and agreed
My heart has just crushed

I quickly wiped off my tears and said that I'm so happy for you
For I love you too much that I just want the best for you

(chorus)
So I choose to stand by your side always
Be the friend you can turn to
Or go bitching
When you have a bad day
And I promise I will always be there
Everytime you need a friend
Or a buddy
To just hang out and chill

(interlude)


When my eyes saw you walking down the pure white aisle
Under my breath I said you're beautiful
I gaze at the groom and thinks that he is so fortunate
To get to marry
The perfect woman

I quickly wiped off my tears and said that I'm so happy for you
For I love you too much that I just want the best for you

(chorus)
So I choose to stand by your side always
Be the friend you can turn to
Or go bitching
When you have a bad day
And I promise I will always be there
Everytime you need a friend
Or a buddy
To just hang out and chill

Thus I stood by your side all these long years
Being one of your true friends
Supporting you
Till the end of your days
On that day I stand in front of your grave
With tears flowing down my cheeks
and I whisper
I have always loved you.


****************************

为你写诗为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说
最美的是你的名字

Seems like I prefer blogspot over tumblr.
Both has their pros and cons. Blogspot offers more flexibility over my postings. Though tumblr can do much more.

I seldom blog about my own life. Simply because I'm afraid I might write something I shouldn't. And I am pretty lazy to write each and every single thing I would want to remember.
So how?

Anyway I am still continuing to blog in blogspot. Tumblr shall probably be updated once in a while.

My life is in a pretty huge mess right now. Wanted to talk to Eileen about it. But then its not the time. She's got things she's handling on her own. Don't want to give her additional burden from me... Just want her to be happy. Everyday.



If wakie is feeling pretty lost with his future, I have no idea how to describe mine. A looming darkness where no light can be seen. Some say its not that serious. But to me, how I view it currently, that's the exact sight I'm having inside me right now.

I don't have much time left. That's why I really treasured the times I went out with the guys. Treasured the times with Eileen, the one and only close female friend I have.

Also having a lot buried deep inside me. Will I reveal them one day? Will such a day arrive? Such that when I reveal the hidden secrets within, that I will not lose all the things I hold dear and treasure terribly?



Life is a biatch. I'm sure many agrees with me.

For Somone I wish to talk to right now but I cannot

I have no idea when you will read this. Because I know that you don't really come to my blog that often.

I know I have said many things that sounded like bullshit or rubbish to you. Frankly speaking, there's no way I can prove or convince you that whatever I said is true and very real. However, I really wish you can at least take note on some of the things I had/have/will be mentioning to you about.

I am also aware that I'm definitely the very last person on earth that you will turn to when you need someone to talk to. I make you uncomfortable. I always say the wrong things at the wrong time. I always do and say things that irritate you. I always..................


I know you're not going to tell or share anything, except probably to a selected few.
But I just want to let you know. I'll always be around for a listening ear whenever you need.



Do you know something?

Everything you feel sad, depressed, I will feel very helpless, I cannot do anything for you.

Firstly, because you keep everything bottled inside. For years I have done the exact same thing. That's why I know how excruciating it feels inside. I wish there's some sort of outlet for you, so that you will not suppress all the emotions and thoughts all inside.
Secondly, for a girl like you, you seriously deserve much much better treatment from life. A lot of girls I know who's not as pretty and cute(definitions of pretty and cute from your tumblr blog entry) as you also never receive so much shit in their life. Life is unfair, but its too unfair in this case.
Thirdly, having learnt so much over the past 10 years in the Taoism and Buddhism world, there's really a lot of things that can help you. That can improve your life. Improve your family. Lessen the burdens in your life. It will be a very gradual change, but the improvements will be there, like a grass growing, you cannot see visible growth, but there's always a growth. But I cannot help you. Not directly. Even though offering addition prayers for you occasionally(as and when I remember and is able to) has given you a bit of respite from all the shit in your life. But those are still not enough to eradicate some of the things that are not supposed to be in your life. One of the things that makes me feel most helpless on.


Last but not least, You are one of the most important people in my life.


I know you are strong. I know you are capable of taking care of yourself. I am aware that it is your life and that you are in control of your life. I know. All these, I do know.

I just want to let you know, that, you're not alone. You're never alone. You have your family. You have your friends. You definitely have people around you that will always stand by you and supporting you.


I am not good with my words. And I don't know what else I can say to you. You'd have probably heard too much of "take care", "dun be sad" or "cheer up" or "stay cool" blah blah.


Anyway by now, looking from all the twits, you seem to sound better. And I think you've already logged off from the net.

Still,

I hope you'll really be ok. That you'll always be alright. You'll always be happy.

That's what I really wish for.

纯粹只是一场梦而已...一场100年的长长的梦

人生如梦，人生如戏。
简简单单的8个字。却有着深深的含义。

大家都听过吧。战国时期，庄子的一则非常著名的故事。。。
庄子当时喜欢白天睡觉，经常梦见自己变成蝴蝶，在园林花草之中飞舞，醒来时，就感觉自己的两只胳膊好象翅膀一样可以飞动。当时庄子就感叹了。到底是蝴蝶梦庄子，还是庄子梦蝴蝶？谁真？谁假？

其实人生真的是一场梦吧。我们正在做梦，做着一个非常长、非常长的一个梦。我们的灵魂深藏在我们的肉体里，长眠在内，做着一个百年大梦。直到我们死的那一天，我们就会从这个梦醒来。也许吧。。

---------------------------------------

When I do have dreams, most of them are pretty realistic. I do feel pain. I do feel happiness. I feel all the sensation and emotions that as a normal human being in a perfectly awaken state of mind would experience. It doesn't matter how far fetch the dream is, or its just a simple dream of your everyday life. Very few people will realise that they are in a dream. I had a lot of dreams which I wished wasn't merely dreams when I woke up from them. Lots of dreams, such as with xxxxx, or with xxxxxx.

---------------------------------------

 I do not know how or where to continue all of a sudden. There's too much going on inside my mind, so many questions yet far too few answers. Seeking for the answers are not the hard part. Its the hardest to recognise the answers and questions itself.

---------------------------------------

I'm quite depressed. Am I trying too hard or just not trying enough. Seriously, what the heck.

I can't talk to people. I can't talk to people properly.

I can't talk to those people I'd really wish to talk properly, the way I wish how my conversation will flow with that person. I really wish I can.

---------------------------------------

好累好累。人怎么那么喜欢搞那么多的心机呢？我也从什么时候变得会弄心机？

只不过我知道、我明白。。。

我所有的心机。

全部都是为了不让她知道。。。


绝对不能让她知道的。。。。。。。。。。。。


那些埋藏在心里的感情。