Damn the COH map. I'm not going to play that map with them again at late nights. Freaking 2 1/2 hrs just to clear it. No more.


Wanted to blog about some things, but I'll wait till tomorrow.

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越来越想你。我知道我不应该的。我知道我没机会的。我知道我。。。

说真的，如果真的爱上了一个人。你就是爱着那个人了。
即使怎么勉强，怎么改变，怎么自我催眠，爱最终还是剩下爱。


自从那天起，我已经没有在听歌了。因为歌，是会触动到我内心的。一定会的。所以我以前在伤心时很少听歌。为了就是不想让情绪失控。

不过，情绪虽然受到控制，但心中的感觉是不会变的。

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Pangs of regrets are coming back. They always come back. Regrets about Sijie. Regrets about Huiling. Regrets about Penny. Regrets about ...... .


11 years ago, I lost control of myself and turned to the darkness. I filled my soul with darkness and let it hold reins over me. But I realised I was going to cause harm to her. So I tore the darkness away and sealed it deep within myself. Which is probably the reason why I seem to be mis-balanced as a person. 90% goodness and 10% darkness. Sometimes more darkness leaked through the seal. But I've always managed to keep the seal there and intact.




The Pandoras' Box has opened. One of my fears in my current life. Came true.

And the seal is waning. I'm afraid, I may not be able to hold the seal intact. Should I ever turn back into darkness, I shall not let myself cause any harm or hurt to you. Because I will definitely regret it for eternity.

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I have no idea what I was trying to put across. Because its all so abstract. Yet,  there's no other way I can put it. I hope I can keep everything under control.

Hatred, Darkness, Loath, Despair.....................

The very ingredients that tear your soul apart and make you do things that you will regret for life.

因为曾经试过，所以才知道它们的可怕。


Those who knew me in primary school and secondary school would probably never have expected it. 我竟然曾经因为情而进入魔道。

The upright, honorable, righteous and goody two shoes Jupiter Seow YuanSheng. Had once turned to the Dark because of Love.


Life is just so ironic.

And spastic.


And likes to play cruel jokes on you.


Especially likes to make you relive history which you have always feared the most.

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Right, I have no idea why I typed all these and so much stuff tonight. Wanted to just put in a couple of words and then go lie on my bed and waited until my insomnia wears out at 5am so I can sleep.

The things I wanted to blog about, I'll blog them tomorrow bah.


I can't stop myself thinking of you


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