Possibly the worst day for the 2nd half of 2009

Lousy communication skills
Lousy social skills
Lousy interpersonal skills
Lousy reading signals skills
Lousy body language skills
Lousy consoling skills
Lousy...

Everything about me is lousy.


Feel like a useless piece of shit lying in a pile of manure in one big shithole.

Seems like I just suddenly lost my own meaning of living. Despite saying all those big words in the previous posts.

Why am I borned? If there's nothing I can do... ??




At least its not my birthday today. Sigh. It would really sucked to discover all about yourself on your birthday.

And might end up being deathday.


Nah, just joking. I promised my close friends I wouldn't kill myself. I promised Eileen I wouldn't do anything foolish and that I would be alright(even though she probably dun even remember). I promised myself that I would live on to continue to care on and protect those I care and treasure. And truly love.

6 more days, yet another lonely birthday this year.
Last year went to eat supper with Eileen, CY, Xiao Sun, Maurice and Aiax(can't remember, or was it Joe??). Just so happened it falls on my birthday, at least when the clock strikes 12 that is. Really a nice feeling, to have people with you on your birthday. Karen smsed me happy birthday. That's all.

This year, probably just the same ritual as per normal. No celebration, no one bothers, no one cares.


Just don't let me do more self-discovery about how useless and lousy I am.